


God and the Devil

by Nyame



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Love/Hate, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Stockholm Syndrome, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 19:58:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13107459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyame/pseuds/Nyame
Summary: Like any other person in the world, Barry Allen dreamed of one day meeting his soulmate. The person that would set his skin on fire with a single touch; that would – hopefully – not dismiss his theories about the impossible. The person that would understand him, accept him for who he was, all the broken, frayed edges surrounding him.He never dreamed the second half of his soul would be a monster.(In which Barry Allen’s soulmate is Earth-2’s Hunter Zolomon, and it changes everything)





	God and the Devil

Barry Allen is immediately suspicious of the stranger that appears in the cortex, espousing about being from a parallel earth, of unexpected dangers, of being _The Flash_. After Dr. Wells – Thawne, he can’t help it. It’s all too convenient.

Then this stranger ( _Jay_ , his mind supplies) idly touches the back of his hand, and Barry _burns_ , an inexplicable vein of passion and longing running through him, blazing through his blood. It is a feeling that Barry has only ever heard about, read about in numerous books and articles. His imagination couldn’t compare to the reality of it all, the essence of _completeness_ that encompasses his very being.

He stumbles back, barely catching himself, clutching his hand like a lifeline. He looks at Jay, who has taken a step back himself, staring at his hand and then at him, a look of _something_ in his eyes.

“You’re my soulmate.” Barry breathes out.

* * *

Soulmates are a phenomenon that have dated back since the beginning of time. Even now, in a world where information is at the tip of a person’s fingers, there is still so little known about soulmates. No one knows how they came to be, if it was all science or magic, or something divine. All that was known was that every person had someone out there that was perfect for them.

Rarely do people meet their soulmates. Even though travel is easier now, there are so many people in the world that the chances of a person finding their soulmate were practically non-existent. Hundreds of millions of people went their entire lives without ever meeting the person that would set them alight. There were only enough soulmate pairs in history to confirm the possibility, however minuscule it was.

People who found their soulmates tended not to advertise the fact. Soulmate pairs were either revered or envied, a source of fascination for those who had yet to find theirs and most likely never would. To say nothing of potential enemies; people who meet their soulmates are bonded, and tend to die not longer after their soulmate does. Not so much due to the metaphysical bond as it was to their grief. Soulmates were both a blessing and a curse, ones that the unimportant longed for and the powerful feared.

Barry was aware of the science and statistics behind soulmates, of the unlikelihood of ever finding his own, but that didn’t stop him from dreaming, from hoping of one day finding that person. His own parents had been a soulmate pair, which is why the idea that Henry Allen had murdered Nora Allen had been so shocking. Many took it as proof of how despicable Henry truly was, especially since he did not die of grief after Nora’s death. Now, with his name cleared, those same people now realized that it was sign that something was off with the case to begin with. Henry himself admitted the reason why he didn’t die after Nora’s death was because of his love for their son and the knowledge of his innocence.

That harsh dose of reality, that having a soulmate didn’t guarantee a happy ending, was enough for Barry to write off soulmates for the time being and pay his attentions elsewhere. He had a crush on Iris West since he was a child, and with Iris being his rock in the wake of the greatest tragedy of his life, it wasn’t long before that crush evolved into love. More than once, he had imagined another time and place where Iris had been his soulmate. But it was not meant to be, and Barry was content pining from afar. When he woke up and saw Eddie and Iris together, he had dreaded the possibility of them being soulmates, and felt guilty when he was relieved that they weren’t, that he still had a chance. He was only spurred on when time travel had revealed that Iris felt the same way, and that article from the future revealing their marriage only sealed his resolve.

Now, that future was once more in doubt. And this time, Barry didn’t mind at all.

* * *

“Soulmate?” Jay asks, his forehead crinkling slightly.

Barry blinked. “Do you not have soulmates on Earth-2?”

Jay looked skeptical still. “In the fairy tale sense. There’s no feasible way to determine if two or more people are physically and mentally completely suited to one another besides courtship on my Earth. I assume things are different here?”

Oh. Well, this was certainly a surprise. Not as much as having a soulmate native to a parallel earth, but still. “Well, yes. When two soulmates touch, they feel what we just felt – a fire beneath their skin, an indescribable feeling of _right_ and _complete_. It’s a rarely happens, though. Most people go through their entire lives without meeting their soulmate, meaning there is little formal knowledge on the subject.” The younger man blushed. “Of course, I don’t think anyone could have predicted a person having their soulmate on a parallel earth.”

There was a glint of _something_ in Jay’s gaze, but soon it passed. “Indeed.”

* * *

After that, Barry and everyone else are far more receptive to Jay. They still request he do a few tests, but soon Barry is learning to throw lightning. Sand Demon puts up relatively little resistance in comparison.

Once the weekly crisis is over, Barry walks into the med bay. It’s time to get around to _really_ talking about the whole soulmate thing.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” And oh, isn’t that a handsome smile. Barry feels blessed to have such an attractive soulmate, and that small part of him that still mourns the loss of his future with Iris disappears almost immediately. Jay…Jay is better than anything he could’ve hoped for, even with Iris – he can just _feel_ it. “So, I hear they call you the Scarlet Speedster?”

Barry smirks. “Yeah. What about you?”

Jay gives him a sheepish grin. “The Crimson Comet. What is it with alliteration and nicknames?”

That draws out a laugh, but it soon subsides. The elephant in the room can no longer be ignored, and Jay is looking at him with a sort of intensity that leaves him shuddering inside. Barry returns his gaze, biting his bottom lip. Eventually, it’s Jay who takes the plunge.

“Soulmates, huh?”

Barry meekly nods his head. “I know it’s a little hard to believe – but it’s real. My own parents were a soulmate pair.”

Jay’s slightly widen at that. “They were?”

“Mmhm. They were very happy together. Of course, it should’ve been the first clue that something was off with my mother’s murder, that my dad didn’t –“ Barry cuts himself off at that, taking a deep breath. Even with his father’s release from prison, he can’t help but feel the slightest bit of bitterness that it took this long for people to really look at his father’s case.

It seems his soulmate understands that this is a touchy subject, and doesn’t press any further. Instead, he says, “Barry…I think I speak for both us when I say this is the last thing I expected.” He gives an ironic chuckle. “Stranded on a new world without my powers, desperately searching for a way home, and watching over you – for you to turn out to be my soulmate, unbelievable as it is…” Jay’s smile is wistful.

Barry’s smile is understanding, and he moves forward to take his soulmate’s hand. Immediately, they both feel it: the unmistakable warmth, filling in holes neither of them realized were empty; the undeniable sign that they were meant to be. They make eye contact, and already, Barry feels himself falling for this handsome hero from a world so very similar and yet so very different from his own.

His voice is firm as he speaks. “Hey. I know this is weird for you. You’ve just had your entire world turned upside down again, and I’m not going to push you into anything you aren’t ready for. We’ll take it slow – get to know each other first, and if we both want to go further, we’ll go further.” The _if_ is a formality, of course. Barry has no doubt that once he and Jay get to know each other, it won’t be long before they become _more_.

Jay looks gratefully at him, and smiles back. “Yeah. That’ll be fine.”

* * *

“Dragon Ball Z?”

“Dragon Ball Z. My Piccolo cosplay.” Barry gestures to the picture. Normally, he would’ve been mortified at showing such a thing to a stranger, but Jay is his soulmate, so it’s not surprising when rather than awkwardly trying to compliment him, Jay chuckles instead.

“Nice turban. Must’ve been great for covering _that_.” Jay points to another picture, showing Barry’s absolutely _horrendous_ high school haircut. Barry flushes and swats the other man on the shoulder.

“I was young, and stupid! And Iris didn’t bother to tell me how bad it looked! She was the fashion expert, not me!”

“Excuses, excuses. This is all you.”

Barry swats him again. At that, Jay’s chuckle turns into full blown laughter, causing his companion to pout. “Jerk.”

They’re at the West house now. Jay admitted to having been hotel hopping and breaking into places to sleep, and considering his situation no one had the heart to condemn him for it. Instead, Barry and Iris offered him to stay at their family home instead. Now, with some free time to themselves, Barry had broken out some of his old pictures to look at, wanting to make that first move.

Jay’s laughter gradually fades away, though he’s still trying to get some of himself righted. The Scarlet Speedster’s glare softens, and his pout turns into a fond smile, before quickly turning serious.

“Jay. I know this probably isn’t the time to ask, but – who’s Zoom? Atom Smasher, Sand Demon, and you…”

The Crimson Comet freezes almost immediately. When he looks at Barry again, that _something_ has returned, but it’s soon lost in the haunted look on his face. “A monster. Nobody knows who or where he comes from – he just appeared suddenly, not longer after I took up the mantle of The Flash. Killed a lot of people on my earth.”

He released a shuddering gasp as he continued. “I spent the better part of two years trying to track him down, but he was always one step ahead of me. He was faster, stronger. I…” He stops, seemingly stuck on a forgotten memory. Barry grabs his hand, letting his feelings of comfort wash over their bond. Jay seemed to draw strength from that, breaking out of his trance.

“He’s obsessed with speed, of being the fastest. It’s why he was so intent on destroying me, and stole my speed to make it happen – and now that he’s aware of your existence, he’ll try to destroy you. That’s why he’s sending all these metahumans to your earth. He’s doing it with the hope that one of them will kill you.”

Barry can _feel_ the fear in his voice, and that only spurns him on. “They won’t. _He_ won’t. We will beat him Jay – I promise.”

Jay smiles at him weakly, and that _something_ returns, but Barry ignores it, and goes to hug him.

* * *

The next few weeks are bliss, with the occasional Flash interruption. Barry and Jay get know each other with a cautious ease, dancing around the growing attraction between them while training for the inevitable confrontation with Zoom. Jay has grown comfortable enough with the ideas of soulmates, enough to suggest a first date – that is unfortunately cancelled when Earth-2’s Harrison Wells appears; not long after, so does the doppelganger of Barry’s ex-girlfriend.

The newly christened Harry brings out the less admirable side of his soulmate. For the first time since the day they met, Jay is hostile and confrontational. Barry knows that his soulmate isn’t perfect – Barry certainly isn’t – but seeing him act in such a belligerent way is still a shock to the system. But before Barry can ask him about his hatred of their newest guest, Linda-2 makes her presence known and Barry is blinded, stuck in the Cortex until his sight returns. Jay avoids him, and accompanies Caitlin to keep watch over CCPN and an eye out for Dr. Light.

When everything goes pear-shaped (as they always do), tensions boil over, and while Barry is aghast to see Jay throw the first punch, it says a lot about his mood that he takes a moment before he finally separates the two men. He gives an admonishing look to Jay, who’s still glaring at Harry before wilting slightly at Barry’s disappointed look.

* * *

After confronting Harry on his behavior towards Jay, Barry looks for the other half of the equation. He finds Jay sulking in one of the unused labs, and walks measuredly towards him, idly leaning on one of the empty desks, right across from his friend and prospective lover. Jay is sitting down at another desk, head tilted downwards, chin in his palm, and eyes closed, looking deep in thought.

“Jay.” No response.

Barry sighs, then leans forward. Then, he abruptly slams his hand hard on the metal platform, slightly amused as he watches Jay jump, frantically looking around for a potential threat before settling down when he sees Barry, a bashful look coloring his face.

Barry smirks. “Well, that got your attention.”

Jay idly rubs the back of his head, glowering lightly. “I was thinking.”

“I noticed.” Barry’s face softened lightly, pensive. “What was that back there?”

The Crimson Comet looked away, slightly ashamed. “A…lapse in control.”

The other speedster snorted. “A lapse? Jay, you were just about ready to kill the guy. What did Harry do to piss you off so badly?”

“What did Wells do?” Jay snorted back. “Wells is the reason my Earth has metas. He funneled the explosion of his Particle Accelerator underground, and when metas started showing up, stirring up chaos, rather than admit his guilt, he was all too happy to make money off it with his anti-meta technology. He created Zoom, ignored him, and now seems to be obsessed with the guy. It’s suspicious. I don’t trust him – and neither should you, Barry.”

Barry nods along, attentive, but at the end of Jay’s explanation, his face scrunches up a bit. He gives Jay a knowing look. “That’s not all of it though, is it?”

Jay blinks, stunned that Barry able to read him so easily so early in their relationship, before sagging back in his chair. “Zoom and I fought many times. And each time, I barely escaped with my life. Wells is right about one thing, Barry – he hunted me, not the other way around. I didn’t always confront him when I should have. But…he took my speed Barry. A part of me.” The older man looked up at him, then leaned forward, grasping Barry’s hand. The familiar warmth returned, but Barry could feel the protective tint through their bond. “I don’t want you to suffer the same fate.”

Barry flushed at the admission, but then steeled his gaze. “I won’t.”

* * *

Linda-2 is quite the challenge, Barry can admit that much. But when he hears Jay’s voice, Barry feels as if he can take on the whole world.

* * *

They are in a celebratory mood, and Barry can feel the power thrumming beneath his skin. His elation is cut short, however, by reality crashing down on him.

Linda-2 killed a man. The other breachers have done even worse. Barry cannot allow this to continue, and makes the decision to confront Zoom now, before even more damage can be done. Everyone agrees.

Everyone except Jay.

“You’re making a mistake! Zoom is a nightmare you can’t wake up from!” Jay pleads with him, clasping his hands onto Barry’s shoulders.

Barry grabs his forearms, and argues back. “I've already had my worst nightmare. His name was Reverse-Flash, and I spent a long time being afraid of him. I'm not going to be afraid anymore.”

“Barry – you may be faster than me, but you’re not read to fight Zoom by yourself.” Jay counters.

Barry backs away, gesturing around to the rest of the room. “That's just it, Jay. I'm not going to fight him by myself. I've got all of them to help me. I've got Dr. Wells.” He looks back at his soulmate, moving forward and grasping both his hands. “I’ve got you.”

Jay wavers just a moment, looking at Barry intently, _something_ behind his eyes, before he backs away, shaking his head. “No, I can't in good conscience help you when I know it'll only lead to you losing your speed, or even worse, your death.” Barry’s arms drop to his sides as he looks disbelievingly at the former speedster.

Jay turns and glares at Harry one last time, accusing him of something, but Barry can’t hear him. The only thing on his mind was Jay’s refusal. But he can sense Jay’s imminent departure, and moves automatically, going forward to grab one of Jay’s arms.

“Jay.” the other man firmly removes his arm from Barry’s hold.

“I’m sorry, Barry.”

He walks away.

* * *

The sting of Jay’s rejection still hurts, but Barry can’t allow it to weigh on his mind. His focuses his attentions elsewhere. Linda – _Earth-1_ Linda, as Linda-2 is God knows where and Barry doesn’t have the time nor patience to track her down right now – needs a confidence boost if their plan is going to work.

Barry is _ready_ for this. Zoom, whoever he is, can’t be any worse than the Reverse-Flash, who murdered his mother and manipulated his life since the day she died. Barry has overcome that demon months ago, and he isn’t about to let another one takes over. And with Zoom gone – maybe Jay will come back.

* * *

Right off the bat, he can tell there’s something monstrous about the black-clad being in front of him. Yet, for a moment, he feels as if he can see something familiar in those ebony, soulless eyes.

Unfortunately, Barry doesn’t have a chance to dwell on it. The pain provides a sufficient distraction.

* * *

It is only a day after he initially woke up from Zoom’s complete and utter destruction of him. When Barry awakes again, it is to the comforting sight of Jay, asleep in a chair next to his bed.

“Jay.” he croaks out. It takes a little bit for Jay to rouse, but when he does, he immediately bolts to Barry’s side, lacing one of his hands with Barry’s own.

“Barry.” The older man gasps. His visage looks regretful, marred with grief.

Barry gives him a weak smile. “Hey.”

Jay gives no sign that he heard him. Instead, he utters out, “I should’ve been there.”

If Barry were in a more vindictive mood, he probably would’ve agreed. However, Barry is currently strapped to a bed after receiving the beating of a lifetime, bruised and battered and legs inert, and simply has no energy to be vindictive. So, he says, “There’s nothing you could’ve done. You don’t have your speed.” Barry’s eyes casted downward. “I should’ve listened to you.”

Jay shakes his head. “No, Barry. I should’ve tried harder to convince you otherwise. And if that wasn’t enough…I should’ve supported you regardless.”

Barry’s heart skips a beat.

* * *

With Grodd’s return, Barry has no choice but to regain his groove; there’s no legroom for wallowing in his self-pity. The return of his father is a significant boost to his morale, and Barry feels awkward when he introduces Henry to his soulmate. The two men hit it off, and Henry leaves in good spirits, happy to know his son is in good hands.

Then comes Vandal Savage and Kendra and Carter and ancient prophecies and Oliver’s secret son from before the island. At the end of it all, Barry has his own questions for Oliver.

“So, you and Felicity aren’t a thing still?” he idly asks, watching as Oliver freezes up.

The Queen sighs, and looks back at him. “I didn’t tell you, did I?”

“Tell me what?”

“I met my soulmate.”

Barry gives him a quizzical glance. “Well, that explains why you and Felicity aren’t together. But, considering your _soulmate_ is the reason why, you don’t sound very happy about it.”

Oliver averted his eyes. “I actually met her not long after you went into a coma. I didn’t tell her until Dig tried to convince me to make a move on Felicity.”

Barry blinks, before palming his face. “Ollie!”

“Well, what was I supposed to tell her at the time?! I’m sorry Felicity, we can’t be a thing because I met my soulmate earlier this year and she’s the ex-lover of my last girlfriend?”

“What.” Barry deadpans, looking incredulously at his friend. 

Oliver sighs again, rubbing one of his temples. “When Sara was still a member of the League of Assassins, she fell in love with the daughter of the leader of the League – Nyssa al Ghul. Nyssa came to Starling to take her back to the League, going as far as to poison Laurel as a warning. When Sara refused, Nyssa became desperate, and kidnapped their mother. We ended up fighting, but then…” Oliver shrugged helplessly.

Barry hummed, and said. “Well, that must’ve been awkward.”

Oliver groaned. “Tell me about it. Nyssa was still in love with Sara at the time, so things didn’t go anywhere, and then I started dating Sara, and then there was Slade – well, things were a big mess. I was still interested in Felicity, so I told her that being soulmates with Nyssa didn’t matter, seeing as I dated Sara and then Nyssa got back together with her when she returned to the League, but she refused; coming between a soulmate pair never ends well for the interloper according to her. Said something about legends and stories of some horrible fate befalling those who interfere with soul bonds.” he grunted. “Considering what happened to Sara, she may have been right.”

“Well, did you work things out with Nyssa at least?”

“We got married. And we still haven’t shared so much as a kiss.” The Green Arrow sighed one more time. “We all can’t be lucky like you Barry.”

The Flash thinks of Jay, and his bright smile and kind words, and idly nods his head in agreement.

* * *

Like last year, Christmas is a disaster. At least this time, it’s not because his childhood boogeyman has returned to wreak havoc on his life. Just Mark Mardon and Jesse James. Barry is just thankful that Snart neglected to join in on the fun this time around – he’d probably be a lot sorer than he is now.

He and Jay are walking around, making idle chatter, before Jay abruptly stops. Barry, sensing something, looks up.

Mistletoe.

He looks back at Jay, who is suddenly very nervous. Barry is feeling a bit tense himself, before he surges forward. He cups Jay’s face, tilting his head slightly downward, and allows their lips to meet.

The kiss is chaste at first, but they begin to melt into it. Jay wraps his arms around waste, bringing him closer. Their lip lock lasts a few seconds longer, before they finally break. Barry can hear Cisco muttering a relieved “Finally.” and Caitlin’s soft giggles, but pays them no mind. Instead, he lets his head rest against Jay’s shoulder, smiling.

The moment lasts until the telltale ring of the doorbell. Barry reluctantly removes himself from Jay’s arms, looking at Iris, who is pensive as she watches her father open the door to reveal a boy that can only be her biological brother.

* * *

This time, Barry is the rock – for both Iris and Joe. Francine is dying, and Wally is uncooperative. Meanwhile, Barry is dealing with the Turtle, aka Cisco Ramon’s unknowing arch-enemy. Barry is still rather miffed to realize that he was the last to hear of Cisco’s newest obsession. All in all, just another day in the life of the Flash.

That should’ve been the first sign of doom.

* * *

Barry stalks his way back into the Cortex, foul mood and all. Eobard Thawne is _here_ , smug and smarmy in a way his future self wasn’t, but still every bit as infuriating. Barry thought he laid that burden to rest, but just the sight of the man who murdered his mother pushes him that closer to a violent episode.

All those thoughts vanish at the sight of a morose Caitlin. Dr. McGee’s recent kidnapping was surely weighing hard on her mind. He goes to comfort her.

And then she opens her mouth, and Barry’s mind studiously goes blank.

* * *

“You’re dying.” Barry crosses his arms.

Jay looks away from the problem on the board, and closes his eyes. “Caitlin told you.”

Eobard Thawne is now back in his own time, and Barry won’t deny that he is angry about that. But as unsatisfactory as that ending is, there is nothing he can do about it. This takes precedence.

Barry levels a glare at him. “Yes. Were _you_ ever going to?”

“Barry…”

The younger man cuts him off immediately. “You should’ve been the one to tell me, not Caitlin. We’re soulmates, Jay. Our very souls are bonded to each other, and we will always be a part of each other’s lives because of it.” His voice softens. “Don’t you trust me?”

Jay looks incensed he would suggest otherwise. “Of course I do! Barry, you said it yourself – we’re soulmates. If I can’t trust you, then who can I trust?”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?”

Jay sighs. He goes forward and, with little warning, wraps the younger man into his arms, holding him close. Barry’s hard exterior breaks away, the toll of the last twenty-four hours finally dawning on him. He returns the embrace, eyes shiny.

“I didn’t want to hurt you.” Jay’s low voice rumbled in his ear. “You were so excited when you found out we were soulmates. Looked so happy. I didn’t want to take that away from you.”

“You still should’ve told me.” Barry mutters back, but there’s no heat to it.

“I should’ve. And over the last couple of months, there were several times where I came close to telling you. But…” Jay trails off.

Barry rubs the back of shoulder. “But?”

“I really, really like you Barry. I just didn’t want to lose you.” He admitted.

His soulmate gave a mirthless laugh, and held him tighter.

* * *

Caitlin is still searching for a cure. But until then, Barry trains for Zoom. If Caitlin doesn’t succeed, defeating Zoom will be the only way to save Jay, and Barry will do anything to make that happen.

Then Barry loses just the tiniest bit of speed and Iris lands in the hospital. A few hours later, they’re prepping for an impromptu trip to Earth-2.

* * *

It is the night before Barry takes the plunge into the breach. Iris is staying with a friend, Joe is taking all-nighter at S.T.A.R. Labs. Barry and Jay have the house all to themselves.

They’re watching a cheap direct-to-video sci-fi flick on the TV, and MSTing the hell out of it. Barry gets a kick out of watching Jay trying to mimic the main villain’s terrible accent and gaudy mannerisms, and failing miserably at the endeavor. By the time the end credits roll, they’re both laughing out loud, tears in their eyes.

The laughter eventually subsides, and they look at each other. Tomorrow Barry will be going into the belly of the beast, and suddenly the weight of that venture has finally occurred to them. The tension mounts to titanic levels.

This time, Jay makes the first move. He kisses Barry, cupping his face and allowing the tip of his tongue to map out his lips. Barry returns the gesture with great fervor, clutching the collar of Jay’s shirt. They spend the next few minutes like that, lazily kissing with occasional breaks for breathing, before Jay takes his hand and leads him to the guest room.

* * *

Barry wakes up to the sounds of breakfast being made. Jay is sound asleep by his side. Barry smiles down at him for moment, kissing the top of his head, before getting dressed and walking downstairs, letting the familiar smells of a classic West breakfast wash over him.

Iris is fixing up the table, and when she sees Barry walk down, she gives him a knowing smirk. Barry playfully rolls his eyes, and smiles back.

* * *

His Earth-2 adventure is both thrilling and terrifying. Barry knows what is at stake, but the sight of Zoom makes his gut curl. Zoom is no less threatening, no less brutal than the first time they met and fought. It isn’t long before Barry find himself trapped in the monster’s lair, with Jesse Chamber-Wells and a man in an iron mask for company.

The man in the iron mask is constantly tapping on the carbine, and Barry, who is unable to escape for the time being, decides to see if he has anything to say that is worth mentioning. When he manages to work out the name “JAY”, he assumes the man must be asking if they can contact Barry’s soulmate, the other Flash, and informs him that Jay is on Earth-1. Barry is left bewildered when the man shakes his head, fisting the translucent wall.

Cue Zoom, who interrupts the proceedings with the sort of menace only he can generate. For a moment, he just stares at Barry, his midnight gaze taking in his form. If Barry didn’t know any better, he would say there was a tinge of reluctance in those dark eyes.

The beating is brief and less damaging, but the malice is still there. Barry collapses, watches as Zoom speeds away, smirking as he realizes Zoom has given him a vital clue. Still, his mind wanders, wondering over that brief instant.

What was that?

* * *

Their great escape is made possible by skill, luck, and a couple of motivational speeches, but their home free now. Barry sees Jay, and can’t help himself. He smashes their lips together, allowing all his elation to burst through this act of passion. After a moment, Jay lets go of the kiss, smiling down at him. He backs away a little, towards the closing breach.

Then a black arm pierces his chest.

Barry’s heart shatters.

A split second later, Jay is gone.

* * *

Barry begs and pleads with Harry to reopen the breach, but Harry, with uncharacteristic sympathy, refuses.

After that, Barry shuts down.

Jay is _gone_.

* * *

Iris is the one who picks him up, like she has for all their lives.

All she does is remind him who killed Jay.

* * *

King Shark would’ve been a massive threat on any other day, but Barry is filled with hatred and determination. Zoom has taken away half his soul, and Barry will let _nothing_ stand in the way of taking his revenge, not even a gigantic, mutant shark-man.

Barry is ruthless, ripping out chunks of flesh, nearly choking King Shark when he deprives him of air. He’s lucky that all this happened at night, because then Central City would’ve been disturbed at the sheer brutality their hero displayed.

Barry doesn’t care. The second half of his soul is _gone_ , and Barry cannot mourn until his murderer is dead.

* * *

Trajectory fades away in a trail of blue lightning.

* * *

Zoom is dying.

For all too brief moment, Barry feels confidence, relief, _hope_. But then, he thinks.

Zoom is dying.

Zoom is _dying_.

Zoom is dying…

…like _Jay_.

* * *

The glass shatters, but Barry doesn’t care about the mess. All he cares about is the helmet.

He hands it over to Cisco.

When the vibe ends, Cisco looks at him, and it is enough to confirm the worst.

Barry runs.

* * *

Barry screams.

* * *

_All of it was a lie_.

The signs were there. When Jay was gone, Zoom appeared.  Barry finally realizes what that _something_ was – the crack in Zoom’s mask. The inexplicable familiarity he felt whenever he and Zoom confronted each other were the echoes of their bond. And the man whose face was trapped in iron, he tried to warn Barry, but Barry was too much of a fool to realize the truth. The signs were all there.

But Barry, who lost his mother, lost his father, left an outcast for most of his life, betrayed by a mentor and a dear friend, ignored them all. Ignored them all because he was in love, and never figured that half his soul might belong to a monster.

The despair is gone. One cannot despair over the loss of something that never existed.

For the first time in his life, Barry allows the hatred to flood him, and holds nothing back.

* * *

Zoom is fast. Barry needs to be faster.

Harry disapproves. Barry is too jaded to care.

* * *

It is only when Barry meets Kara that does he allow the darkness to subside. Kara is sweet, kind, _good_. Barry has no desire to let any of his darkness to touch her heart. Instead, he allows himself to forget about Ja – _Zoom_ , allows himself to enjoy the thrill of superheroics once again.

At the end of it all, right before Barry departs, Kara asks to talk to him in private.

She isn’t fooled.

* * *

“So,” she starts off, “who burned you?”

Barry allows his mask to drop. The smile disappears, and his eyes lid. His hands clench into fists.

“My soulmate.”

“What?” Kara blinks. “Barry if this girl-”

“Guy.”

“-guy, hurt you this badly, then chances are he’s not your soulmate.” she continued gently.

Barry shakes his head. “On my earth, people are physically capable of finding their soulmates – though the phenomenon is rare. When two soulmates touch, they get this burning feeling of _right_ and _complete_ , and the warmth of their bond is felt every time they touch.”

The look on Kara’s face turns sympathetic. “Then your soulmate…”

“…is a monster that needs to be stopped.” Barry stops himself, and _breathes_. “Kara, I need to get home. And I think I know how to do it.”

* * *

On Earth-1, Barry preps for the inevitable confrontation. When Harry tries to dissuade him from bringing Zoom back, Barry defiantly points out that a desperate Zoom will find a way back to this earth regardless. Barry would rather be able to control the encounter than having to play defense.

It is during this discussion that Barry looks at Caitlin, who has been looking down ever since the truth has been revealed. Barry knows that Zoom and Caitlin had fostered a close friendship during his time on this earth, to the point that Caitlin was even entrusted to personally look over his medical needs. Chances are, had Barry and Zoom not been soulmates, Zoom would’ve tried for Caitlin, and Caitlin, now capable of moving on after Ronnie’s second death, would’ve been receptive to his advances. After Barry, she is the one who took Zoom’s supposed death the hardest.

When Barry goes to comfort her, he learns a little more about her efforts to save Zoom. He learns of his Earth-1 doppelganger, Hunter Zolomon.

Harry then introduces them to _Earth-2_ Hunter Zolomon.

That, more than anything else, reaffirms how little Barry truly knew about his soulmate. Mother murdered by his father, right in front of him (Barry feels a pang of sympathy, and summarily ignores it), abandoned by his relatives, forced into an orphanage, twenty-three counts of murder – he was a goddamn _serial killer_. Harry postulated that he didn’t even get his speed from heavy water, but rather from the electroshock therapy he had been court mandated to go through while interred at a mental asylum.

Hunter. Not Jay, Hunter. Jay Garrick was a lie, used to whittle down his defenses, to earn his trust. Barry was in love with a figment, a falsehood, a tool at the disposal of perhaps the greatest monster he has ever known. Hunter Zolomon is Zoom’s true face, his true enemy – and his true soulmate. Barry’s heart sings until it breaks, because now, he knows his foe, and nothing will stop him from taking him down.

Even if it means Barry has to go down with him.

* * *

The trap is laid. Barry takes Cisco, and they open the gate.

* * *

The sight of his enemy, captured, immobile, pleases Barry far more than it should.

Barry removes the mask, and stops.

Working it out, with Cisco’s confirmation, is one thing, but the sight of his once-lover clad in that damnable black suit reinforces it for him.

Jay is Zoom.

Barry feels that familiar echo of grief and despair and _love_ , and pushes it back down, steeling his expression.

Hunter has yet to look up, and the silence stretches on until he does. Their eyes meet, and Barry is struck by the darkness and hatred within them. They are cold, hard slabs, contemptuous of everything in sight.

Were they always like that?

Barry immediately dismisses the question. It doesn’t matter. Not anymore.

“How did you know?” Hunter demands, a threatening tilt to his voice.

Barry crouches down, and smirks. There’s no mirth to it. “You made a mistake. You told Caitlin who your doppelganger was.”

“And that I was Zoom?” Hunter presses on.

“The Velocity-9. When you run fast enough, it turns us speedsters lightning blue.” Barry replies. Hunter gives a slight laugh, impressed. Barry ignores it. “We would’ve helped you. We would’ve done everything we could to save your life.”

Hunter scoffs. “Not _everything_.” He refutes.

“Caitlin found you a cure!” Barry retorted.

“A temporary one!” Hunter fires back. “I’m dying, Barry! There’s only one thing that can get me what I need!”

“And you just don’t care, how many lives you destroy trying to get it? HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU KILL?”

“NO! I DON’T!” Barry’s smirk drops, turning into a deep frown. Hunter looks beyond him, mind stuck in the past. “That feeling was taken from a long time ago.” His voice was haunted.  Against his better judgement, Barry’s face softens. He was always far too compassionate, far too understanding for his own good.

For a moment, both men forgot their current situation. Hunter’s gaze met his again, and there was something there, something so reminiscent of Jay. Barry’s breath was caught, his body frozen, as Hunter leaned forward from his prone position. He ripped off one of his gloves, and allowed the bared flesh of his hand to caress his soulmate’s face.

Barry closed his eyes, lost in that well-acquainted sensation, the symbol of their unbreakable bond.

“I can see why the powers that be made you mine.” Hunter rumbled fondly, sensually. “We’re not so different, you and I. What happened to us when we were kids…you could’ve easily become me.”

At that, Barry’s eyes sprung wide open, and he slapped Hunter’s hand away. The other speedster looked vaguely hurt, before adopting a mask of cold amusement. Barry stood, and glared down at him.

“No.” He denied. “I’d never become like you.”

Now Hunter had his own smirk, a mocking expression. It takes every bit of Barry’s self-control not to deck the man right then and there.

“Really?” Hunter asks. “You’re closer than you think, Barry.” The contraption around his leg makes it difficult, but with a bit of effort, the other speedster manages to get on his feet.

“I got to say - that was smart.” he continues, lightly wagging his finger. “Using my past, my parents against me. Ah, _family_. Such a weakness.” Hunter ended his statement with a derisive tone.

Barry frowned again. “Not for all of us.”

“Now that’s where you’re wrong.” Hunter disagreed. “Anyway, it’s time I get what I came for.”

Barry laughs, and disagrees in turn.

He’s quickly proven wrong.

* * *

Barry scratches and claws at the hand around his neck. Hunter’s gaze is hungry, eyes wide, mouth set in a hard grin. Barry scratches and claws and refuses to bow, to submit, to heel. He has that much pride left.

He glares back, and chokes out. “Do it. None of it was real, after all.”

At that, Hunter just softens, hesitates ever so slightly. Neither of them take heed of the pleas of Barry’s friends and family.

Then they’re gone.

* * *

Barry’s chained to a bed, staring disparagingly at the tray of food in front of him.

With his speed gone, he can afford to do that now. He no longer must consume tens of thousands of calories per day to supplement his near unparalleled metabolism. While the loss of his powers means Zoom goes unchallenged, there are benefits, no matter how small and insignificant they are.

He continues to stare, and doesn’t flinch as a rush of wind hits his face. He gazes silently at the beastly figure that has haunted his nightmares for the last few months.

“You need to eat.”

“If you want to say something, say it to me face to face.”

Zoom pauses, and an instant later, Hunter appears, in regular, dark clothing. Barry surveys him, then turns his head.

“Why am I here? You got what you wanted.” He spits out bitterly.

Hunter sighs, and in a comforting tone, says, “You’re here because I love you, Bar.”

A flash of anger, and Barry shouts, “Don’t call me that! You don’t have any right to call me that, not anymore!”

Hunter _tch_ s, and rubs his hands on his pants. “I’m your soulmate, Barry. I love you, I truly do.”

“Well, you have a funny way of showing it.” His soulmates snaps, uncaring if his words cut or not. “You manipulate me for months, beat me so badly that my spine was injured and was left unable to move for a week, kidnap by best friend’s brother, _my_ brother, to force to give up my speed, and then you zoom me away from my own earth and chain me to this bed. Forgive me if I don’t believe a single word that comes out of your filthy mouth.”

Hunter exhales again. “I know. And I’m sorry about that – about all of that. I know you think none of it was real –”

“Because it wasn’t.” Barry interjects.

“–but it was. Most of it, at least.” Hunter continues, as if Barry hadn’t spoken. “I didn’t plan for this to happen, Barry, I’ll admit. Being your soulmate was a surprise, but, after having gotten to know you these past eight months, I can’t say I’m not happy it happened.” Hunter smiles at him.

Barry is unmoved, and remains stonily silent.

“I know you see me as a monster,” at that, he bends down, and with a vibrating hand, breaks the chain, freeing Barry’s hands. Barry idly rubs his sore wrists, and watches as Hunter continues to speak. “But over time, I know you’ll come to see otherwise. You’re not a prisoner here, Barry. This is your home now too.”

Barry wants to scream, to hit him, but before he can, Hunter disappears in a flurry of blue.

* * *

The man in the iron mask is a great listener. But when you’re imprisoned in a carbine cell and completely incapable of speaking yourself, that’s only to be expected.

“He’s my soulmate, you know.” Barry says, leaning back.

He’s sitting on the floor, leaning against the cell opposite Mr. Iron Mask’s – the one he was imprisoned in during his last visit. The lair is completely empty except for them, but Barry is not deluded enough to believe that Hunter doesn’t have some way of keeping track of the going-ons of the closest place he has to an actual home. Releasing his fellow prisoner is too risky, especially since Barry is stuck on a foreign earth with no access to his speed.

But Barry is bored. Bored and hurt and _tired_ , the stress of the last few months finally catching up to him. He needs to let it all out, to release his frustrations, and pouring his heart out to a stranger might seem like a terrible idea, but this stranger is in the same boat as him, and Barry really doesn’t care anymore.

Mr. Iron Mask cocks his head to the side, confused.

“On my earth, people are physically capable of finding their literal soulmates.” Barry clarifies. “It’s rare though. People go entire lifetimes without ever finding their soulmate. There were only ever enough to establish the possibility, however unlikely. My parents were a soulmate pair. They were _so_ happy together, until…well.” At that, Barry just shakes his head.

“Before reality sets in, every child has dreamed of meeting their soulmate, of having what my parents did. I wasn’t any different. But then my mom died, and I learned that not even soulmate pairs always get happy endings. When the years went by, and no soulmate ever appeared, I gave up on the notion of ever finding my own.”

Barry then laughs, no humor present in his voice. “And then he appeared, and every time I touched him, a fire burned in my belly. He made me feel _alive_ in a way no one else ever has. I was in love.”

The man in the iron mask watched him extrapolate. Though Barry couldn’t see his face, he could tell Mr. Iron Mask looked sympathetic to his plight. That he wished to comfort him.

“It wasn’t real. None of it was real. The man I fell in love with was a lie.” Barry clenches his hands, and swings his right arm back, slamming his fist on to the carbine behind him. “I should’ve known. Nothing in my life has never been that simple – can _never_ be that simple.” After that, all the anger and rage just drain out of him, and Barry leans back again, almost laying down, staring up at the grungy ceiling above. “I wonder what I did, to deserve all this. To have my soul be bonded to a monster.”

Mr. Iron Mask looked at him, then silently placed his own hand against the carbine, the one gesture of comfort he could give to his companion. Barry sat up, and smiled, appreciative of such kindness.

“Thank you. For listening to me.”

* * *

So, it’s only fitting that the object of their one-sided conversation would appear to ruin the moment.

Zoom arrives in a cackle of blue lightning, and says, “Do not talk to him.” to Mr. Iron Mask.

Then he looks at Barry. Barry looks back at him, face devoid of all emotion, as if carved out of marble.

Zoom removes his mask, and Hunter Zolomon takes his place.

He smiles.

“We’re going on a date.”

* * *

A bowling alley.

Barry has never wanted to kill someone more in his entire life.

The bastard is just taunting him now. Barry and “Jay’s” first real date was at Central City’s bowling alley, the same one where Barry had that impromptu, ill-fated double date with Linda, Eddie, and Iris. The place where his romantic life went into a tailspin because Mark Mardon and an unexpected do-over.

Barry had chosen that place for their first date because it was a centerpiece of his childhood and he wanted to share it with his soulmate. It had been a fun date, filled with playful competition, and yummy, greasy food. Barry had looked back at the memories with fondness and longing during the days after “Jay” died, only to have them tainted when “Jay” turned out to be Zoom. Afterwards, any happy memories of their relationship were summarily blocked out, because Barry was emotionally compromised enough as it is.

It seems, however, that Hunter was determined to relive their relationship all over again, to convince Barry that everything between them was the genuine article.

Barry wasn’t going to fall for it.

* * *

“No.”

“Barry…”

“No.” Barry stated more firmly this time.

Hunter took a deep breath in exasperation. “You’ll play along.” he commanded.

Barry opened his mouth to continue his adamant refusal, but Hunter cut him off.

“You’ll play along, or I swear to God, I will kill the old man in that metal mask back home.” the speedster threatened.

The former speedster felt his jaw clench. “You do that, you lose any leverage you have here.” Barry accused.

Hunter smirked. “Barry, you know as well as I do that _everyone_ on this earth is leverage. Now, open the door. We’re going to go in, and we’re going to have a nice date at the bowling alley, where we will eat heart-attack inducing food and play a game or two where I will kick your ass, like I have for the last eight months.” He drawled lazily, gesturing to the entrance.

Barry growled, but complied.

* * *

Barry glared sullenly at the bowling alley, staring disdainfully at the large spheres. Hunter payed him no heed, grabbed one of his own. He tested it for a few moments, taking note of the weight, making slight swinging motions with it. Once he was satisfied, he took his place in front of their aisle. It took two rolls, but Hunter managed to land an eight. He smiled at the screen above, before going back to the table to mark down the score.

Barry eyed the screen thoughtfully, before looking at back at Hunter. The latter was leering at him, an arrogant smirk on his face. The CSI narrowed his eyes at him, before abruptly standing up, going to grab a bowling ball of his own. He only took cursory note of the weight and balance, before taking a stance of his own in front the cones. Then, calmly but steadfastly rolled a strike.

The flashing red X was satisfying, but not as much as wiping the smile off his soulmate’s face.

* * *

“I won.” Barry bares his teeth, the corners of his lip upturned as they leave the bowling alley. Hunter looks away from him, crossing his arms. If Barry didn’t know any better, he would say that the speedster was pouting.

A warm, familiar feeling bubbled in his chest. Barry waded in it, only to push it back down. The smile fades from his lips.

_It wasn’t real. None of it was real._ He reminds himself.

* * *

The next month passes by like that. They go on dates every single day. And Barry, he tries not to enjoy them, but with Hunter’s basilisk stare and the waning hope chip away at him. He finds amusement and elation in these outings regardless.

And with that, he finds himself falling into Hunter’s arms. Touching him, embracing him, spending every moment with him. And just when he’s about to kiss him, he must remind himself that it wasn’t _real_ , that none of it was _real_. The mantra in his mind, however, provides little protection against what he knows is the beginning symptoms of Stockholm Syndrome.

A mantra that Hunter manages to drown out in a single night.

* * *

He takes them to the pier, that night.

Earth-2 is more technologically advanced than Earth-1, that much is certain. Barry notes, however, that it is deficit in other areas (and his mind wanders to their appalling psychotherapy treatments, before he shuts it down). In any case, when they arrive at the pier, Barry’s isn’t surprised to see streamlined ships with the retro-American, borderline steampunk style that he’s become so accustomed to. What he is surprised to see is a large, square platform with a motor attached to the end. Sitting on it is a carefully prepared picnic, filled with Barry’s favorites, alit with candles and decorated with other romantic trappings.

The former speedster’s heart skips a beat. And this time, Barry doesn’t stop the warmth from enveloping him.

* * *

They dine beneath the stars, which shine brilliantly, cascading bits of light that sparkle over this foreign Central City. They float in the sea, beside the bridge that connects the twin cities, bobbing gently with the soft waves.

Barry memorized the constellations when he was younger, because while he specialized in Chemistry and Physics in hopes of releasing his father from his wrongful imprisonment, his heart belonged to science in its entirety. Here, on another Earth, he finds that their shapes are the same, and so are their names.

“The Big Dipper. And over there – that’s Canis Majoris. And sparkling there is Sirius, the brightest star in the sky.” He points, tracing his finger over the patterns.

Beside him, Hunter watches him with a softness that he once thought to be familiar, characteristic. “You know them all, don’t you?” It’s more a statement, than a question.

Barry looks at him, and his heart is weak. He is tired of fighting. “Down to my soul.”

This time, he doesn’t resist. Their lips meet.

* * *

They make love.

It is painful, imperfect love. Love that began with lies, only supported by a bond between two souls, a bond with no origin beyond the cosmic seams of the multiverse, the inexplicable fabric of a peregrine reality. It is love that is a paradox unto itself, something that should and should not exist.

But it was still love. No matter how wrong it was.

* * *

Barry fingers something else that is not the stars, after they’re done. Hunter watches him, then lifts his own hand.

Soulmarks.

Lightning bolts, reverses of each other. Barry’s lies over the moon, the symbol of feminine empowerment. Hunter’s overlays the sun, the bastion of masculine dominance.

Soulmarks only appeared once a bond was fully completed, consummated between two halves. When their hearts had all but merged and become one. The man Barry slept with, prior to his first dip into Earth-2, was a time remnant of his soulmate. They were connected, but not truly, not completely, not fully. Perhaps, if Barry had created a time remnant, they would be bonded.

The man that Barry had slept with right now was the real deal, his true half. And thus, when Barry gave himself to this man, their soulmarks appeared, forever engraving their union into their skin. Even if one of them were to die, the mark would remain, a reminder of what the person had lost.

Barry flops back onto the bed, and curls back into his lover’s arms.

* * *

Thus, it is only fitting, that the illusion shatter.

The metahumans of Earth-2 all obey Zoom’s law, but with him being distracted by Barry, they have become restless and reckless. They believe Zoom has gone soft, that they are the masters of their own fate.

Zoom dismisses such notions. Brutally.

Barry watches as he drags one such foolish interloper into the layer, watches as he tortures him with glee on his face. And it is then, that Barry remembers: his soul is one of half of a demon’s, and love, no matter how true and strong, cannot change that.

He leaves the lair, just for a moment. And when the breach appears, he doesn’t hesitate to barrel through it.

* * *

The greetings, however happy, are brief. Barry sees the contraption. And he can feel it, the familiar pulse calling to him, wishing to reunite with him.

When the lightning comes, Barry doesn’t scream.

* * *

“Why him?” he asks his not-mother, and she smiles, not unsympathetically. “Why is it my soul, that you chose to bound to his?”

Not-Nora gazes at him, understanding and _knowing_ all in her eyes, and Barry has to remind himself that regardless of her visage, this is not and never will be Nora Allen.

She speaks.

* * *

_You’re the only person that can love him, each and every single part of him – and still stand against him._

* * *

Iris may no longer be his heart, but she was still his rock, his tether, his closest friend. So when she reaches out to him, he reaches back.

* * *

Hunter is caressing the board, plastered with his string analysis of his mother’s death, when they meet again. Barry walks slowly, silently, watching him with curious and apprehensive eyes.

“You left me.” He says, abruptly. Barry stops.  Hunter turns around, and his expression betrays nothing.

Barry nods slowly. “I did.”

“Why?” he demands, his tone deceptively even.

Barry releases a deep breath. “Because I made a choice, a very long time ago. And so did you. And no matter how much we love each other, the choices we made…they’re ones that can’t be met halfway.”

Hunter just looks at him, piercing glints into the depth of his soul. Barry watches him, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

* * *

The building drops first.

* * *

Laurel Lance.

_Not our Laurel._ Barry reminds himself.

The speedster remembered their Laurel’s funeral, right before the ill-fated trap for Zoom. Her death had left an aching pain in them all, but it scarred Oliver the most. He could just remember his friend’s listless eyes, the way he beheld her body, her grave, with a sadness that shattered the deepest parts of his heart. Laurel had been Oliver’s first love, the woman whose love and forgiveness he had used to drive himself out of the fiery pits of hell. She was his rock, much like Iris was Barry’s, and only his soulmate could ever supersede that attachment, that affection.

Zoom had to have known that. Had to, because this cruelty was just right up his alley.

So when Barry sees this woman, who has his friend’s face but not her heart, all he can do is snarl in hatred.

* * *

Barry should’ve known better.

* * *

“Don’t.” He begs, he pleads. Henry Allen is speaking, platitudes, comfort, words that would’ve touched Barry’s heart in any other situation. But all Barry can see is Hunter, and those terrible, terrible irises.

Hunter says nothing. He emotes nothing.

And then he shoves his vibrating hand into Henry’s chest.

* * *

Barry screams.

He’s crying, he knows this much. He is jawing, beseeching his father’s cooling body, watching as the light fades away into nothing. His tears continue to fall, as his entire world breaks into nonexistence.

And then he looks up.

Hunter smirks, smug and uncaring, malicious and sadistic and the embodiment of the purest evil Barry has ever known.

Barry doesn’t scream. He roars, the fury in his very being, burning through his despair.

There is no coming back from this.

* * *

They run into the city, chasing after each other’s lightning.

Barry catches him, and he finds perverse satisfaction in slamming Zoom’s body against every surface he can find. He snags the monster by the front of his suit, the polymer stretching against its will. He vibrates his hand.

But he can’t push it forward.

Zoom does the deed for him.

Then he rips off his mask, and Hunter appears. The smirk is still there, but now Barry can see the sheer hatred in them. The utter loathing in his eyes, abhorrence in a way that leads to obsession.

Hunter wants him to suffer.

Barry is not disturbed by this.

Hunter is merely a reflection of himself.

* * *

It is after the funeral, that they finally throw down the gauntlet.

“There’s only one way this can end.” Hunter tells him, when Barry confronts him in the middle of the street, still clad in his funeral wear.

Barry stares at him hard, lips pursed into a thin line. “There was only one way this was ever going to end.” He agrees.

And that was the truth, wasn’t it? Barry had always thought of soulmates as people who completed each other, who made each other happy in every single possible way that mattered. But that was only part of it.

Hunter and Barry, Barry and Hunter, were two opposites. Two true opposites – Eobard Thawne, Barry’s first, and he had once thought, greatest enemy, had tried desperately to make himself the same to Barry. But that didn’t change the fact that before he had hated the Flash, Eobard Thawne had loved the Flash, had made his childhood hero the core of his identity, an emulation of everything he wanted to be. Eobard didn’t hate the Flash because he was a symbol of everything he hated, but rather because he was a symbol everything he _wanted_ to be, and could not, because of a destiny he lacked the will to defy.

Hunter Zolomon, however, had never loved the Flash. He had despised everything that the Flash represented, the light and hope of heroism, the sigil of justice. The Flash was everything that had been taken away from him, the day he was forced to watch as a housewife departed from this world with a bullet in her skull. Hunter Zolomon hated the Flash, and continued to hate the Flash even as he fell for the man beneath the mask.

Soulmates shared everything together. And that meant they brought out the best and the worst out of each other. Barry never realized it until now, what it truly meant to be soul-bound to another, to love and hate and everything in-between, all with this one person.

Some part of him wished he had remained ignorant.

* * *

They meet. And they fight.

It is a beautiful clash, one that the history books will ruminate on until the end of time. A storm of  gold and cobalt electricity cackles between them, each blow they exchange fast and furious. The entire city hides within their walls, watching from windows, cameras, every safe vantage point they can find. They can feel it in their bones – this battle will decide all their fates.

Barry and Hunter pay them no mind. There’s only them, and as fast as they move, their perception has slowed. Barry fights with all he has, using his superior swiftness to counter Hunter’s strong build. Every ounce of fighting knowledge that Oliver has pounded into his brain is utilized, countering his opponent’s powerful swings and superior experience.

It is a stalemate, and they both know it.

So, Barry moves. He breaks away from Hunter, and beckons him.

He runs. His soulmate follows.

* * *

The time remnant breaks away, and with a short flick of their heads, they reach an understanding.

Hunter chases after the time remnant, to an abandoned power plant. There, they continue their war, and Barry watches from the sidelines, hidden so his once-lover does not notice his presence. And, when they are both worn, he feels his heart stop as his necks twists, breaking.

His soulmate stares at the body, a moment too long.

Barry pounces.

And with every punch he lands, Barry feels satisfaction and heartache all at once.

* * *

He does not kill Hunter.

He has his enemy at his mercy, for real this time. This man who once bore the moniker of “Zoom” is now a battered piece of meat, broken like Barry had once been so very long ago. He is conscious, but barely.

“Barry.” he mutters, almost reverently.

Barry does not kill him, because Barry still loves him. With all his heart and soul.

“I love you, Barry.”

And Barry looks at him, face now ice, chilled and solid.

He smiles. There is nothing to it. No mirth, no heat, nothing.

“I love you too, Hunter.”

Barry cannot kill Hunter. At his core, he will never be a killer.

So he lets the Time Wraiths do it for him.

* * *

Sitting on the porch of the West House, Barry is tempted to undo it all. To live the life that should’ve been his.

But if this experience had taught him anything, it’s that it wouldn’t change what happened. It wouldn’t change a thing for him. The source of his desolation is rooted in his soul. Changing the past won’t change who his soulmate was. Changing the past won’t change the fact that the love of his life was the Devil himself.

Changing the past would only remind him of all things the could have been and were never meant to be his.

Barry stands, dusting off his pants. The stars of his world twinkled down at him, as if blessing him.

The past is the past, and Barry only has the future. And as much as he loved Hunter, he hates him just as much. Enough to spite him by living his own life, as happily as he can.

Idly, his hands wash over the lightning mark etched into his skin, emblazoned with the crescent moon above. Soulmarks were supposed to be reminders, of all a bonded soulmate had lost.

But when Barry looked at it, he only saw it as a reminder of all he stood to gain.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Had this sitting on my hard drive for a while, and decided to complete it. I’ve hit a minor writer’s block regarding _To Hell and Back_ (which I highly recommend if you like original work and adventure stories). It’s nothing major, I’m just having issues figuring out how I want the arc to end so it will build correctly to the final arc before the “half-way” point, which is essentially the first ending point of the story. 
> 
> Anyway, this fic initially started out as a “what-if” sort of thing, as I’ve never seen a Barry/Zoom fic with them as soulmates. It then evolved into an exploration of soulmates, of what it truly means to be two halves of the same soul. Barry and Hunter are, in a way, two halves of the same soul. Barry the light, and Hunter the dark. Hence, they’re attracted to one another in the sense that they want to complete each other. However, they’re also representations of everything the other despises, and that repulses them from each other as well. That’s why they were bonded to each other – for balance. They share everything – love and hate in all its forms and everything in-between, and that’s what makes them soulmates. 
> 
> Barry assumes that gaining a soulmate mark after consummation of their relationship is a sign of a full bond. While that’s true, in a sense, it’s not the complete truth. Soulmates gain those marks after they’ve explored every possible facet of their relationship. Barry and Hunter gained theirs after they experienced both positive and negative interactions with one another. Barry didn't realize he should've had one after he slept with the time remnant because he had a lot on his mind and was deliriously happy at the time anyway.
> 
> As for the ending bit – yeah, no Flashpoint. Barry’s experience with Hunter has changed his worldview significantly. Simply put, Barry knows that Flashpoint isn’t going to change the type of person his soulmate is, and now that he knows his soulmate, and has loved him, he simply can’t see what’s the point in trying to change things so they will never meet. Yeah, his soulmate was evil, and killed his dad, but he also completed Barry in a way that no one else, not even Iris, ever has and ever will. And as much Barry hates the guy, he can’t find it in himself to let that feeling go.
> 
> But at the same time, it’s because Barry hates Hunter that he has the strength to move forward with his life. On some level, he knows that if he goes back, he’s just letting Hunter win. Going back confirms that Hunter broke him. And while Barry is broken, he is not beyond repair. Basically, it’s the whole “living well is the best revenge” sort of thing. 
> 
> There will be a second chapter to this fic, covering Hunter’s POV, but it won’t be out for a while. My focus is still on my other, multi-chaptered story, and it will continue be as such for a while.


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